


Conundrum

by jaureguibrooke



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaureguibrooke/pseuds/jaureguibrooke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She never asked why you were there, she just let you be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conundrum

Incoherent and selfish thoughts destroyed our peace and restrained our passion. It was stupid back then, how innocent we would act by being fools and hopelessly devoted to each other. My fault was letting you believe we were okay. We never were. My words meant more than they should, I kept your loving awake when I proclaimed how much you meant to me. Remembering it is as silly as your jokes that once made my heart melt with your smile: we grew close, too close, leaving our reality behind and creating our own; you made me feel like I've never felt before.

 

I still remember when we kissed, it was full of passion and tears. It slipped out of your mouth the words you shouldn't pronounce in front of them, that was our secret. You were so hurt that day; we could be eliminated and maybe all that we had achieve through this whole time was nothing. I remember you were crying, facing the floor. 'You face the floor when you lose, but you look up to the beautiful sky when you win,' you would always say to me. I hugged you so tight so you could ease all the pain you feeling, so I could protect you. And you let me. You said you loved me. It was sincere and caring. No one else could hear because you whispered these words quietly only to me. Hearing you say what scares me the most, but seeing you in such a fragile state was enough to make my blood rush faster through my veins. I didn't say it back to you, though. I could bring myself to expose a part of my heart to you. I was a coward, still am. Instead I brought my lips to yours, wishing that all the unsaid words could be replaced by my actions. It was like I always did, intoxicate you with unfaithful promises. I kissed you with all the lies I've ever told you, and surprisingly enough, you kissed me back.

 

I promised myself I wouldn't fall for you, and I forgot to protect you from letting you give yourself to me. I loved the way your hands found mine every time we were close to each other, or how your eyes were looking at mine with such an intense caring and fear when I would linger my lips into your cheek for a few more seconds than necessary. It wasn't strange how you would come over me and let your head rest in the space between my neck and shoulder and close your eyes, and my lips would instantly find its way to your head, leaving a gentle kiss there. Our hands would be playing with each other, our fingers intertwined mindlessly while your thumb would stroke softly the back of my hand. 

 

I remember when I first told you were beautiful. We were laying down on your bed, it was past midnight and your head was resting against my chest while your arm was over my torso enclosing me into a warm embrace. My hands were caressing your hair, but my eyes were closed. 

 

"This is insane." 

 

"What?"

 

"Us," you said.

 

It was 2 weeks after our kiss, which we never really spoke again. We didn't kiss again, mostly because you would only talk to me at night, after everyone was already asleep into their dreams.

 

"I may say I like insane things," I whispered to you. I felt you smile against my heart, and a small laugh escaped your lips. You moved your head so you would be facing me, my hands left your hair to rest over your cheek. I traced the outline of your lips and looked straight into your eyes.

 

"You are insanely beautiful." And your lips found mine for the second time in two weeks.

 

The next day, you never left my side. It was our day off, and while everyone else was busy doing whatever they could, we were alone laying down in your bed - which was practically my bed now.

 

"Tell me a secret." 

 

"What?" 

 

"Tell me something no one knows about you," you said. Your face was only inches away from mine so I could feel your breathing hitting my face as you spoke. Your curious brown eyes were looking into mine, waiting for me to answer.

 

"You kiss me and now you want to know all my secrets, huh?" 

 

You laughed, "I'll tell you all my secrets too if you want."

 

"That's better."

 

I thought about what to tell you, I am not much of an open person, and all my secrets were pretty much exposed now. Your fingers interlaced with mine and you brought my hand up so you could kiss it. I could tell you a million things that I secretly love about you, but instead I found myself saying the only thing was on my mind all the time.

 

"I want to be with you, forever," I admitted in a low whisper, fearing your reaction. It was obvious you weren't my first love, but everything with you was different, I wanted you to be comfortable with anything we were doing. 

 

Just like I did with you the first time, you put your lips on mine so all the words you couldn't tell me were felt through that kiss. After a few seconds, you parted your lips a slightly bit, and your tongue smoothly ran inside my mouth. Your hands were gripping my neck, caressing a few strays of hair at the end of my head. We were both breathless after a couple of minutes, you pulled away, opening your glinting eyes in front of me.

 

"I love you," you said.

 

As your lips pressed against mine again, for a brief moment all my worries disappeared, somehow you rejoiced me. Your lips were hesitant for a second, like you were afraid to push me into something I'm not ready. I knew you wanted me to say those three words back to you, but I didn't know if I was supposed to tell you something I wasn't sure. Do I love you?   I hope your kiss eluded my coherence so my answer for your question could be yes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> well, i am trying out a few ideas, maybe i could turn this into a short thing - or not. thanks for reading, and sorry about any grammar mistakes!


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